We all know that about 1% of people achieve their new years resolutions. This is based on no statistic anywhere but is my guesstimate and is most likely accurate. We all know this but yet we still keep on doing it year after year.
So if we are so hell bent on being a better version of ourselves I thought I would unpack new years resolutions to find an approach that really works to achieve what we need and desire.
When you talk about resolutions or goals, you are thinking about something that isn’t part of your reality yet. It’s extra to what you are doing right now, and so, it’s not going to happen because you’re busy enough as it is.
We all start off with good intentions but life and work gets int the way and these great ideas turn into failed dreams.
So there are a few things just in that sentence that we can overcome easily. Firstly, it all in how we look at things and our attitude towards it. Wayne Dyer frequently stated ‘If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change’. So how about not looking at them as resolutions but to instead treat it like work. I know this makes it sound boring and takes the joy out of it but bare with me.
Try this approach…
1.Stop calling them resolutions and instead call them decisions
Resolutions are exciting for a couple of days but quickly get eaten up by routine and busy-ness. They require massive amounts of willpower because they are an upheaval in your life. But, while decisions do require work, they have more of a non-negotiable feel to them. It’s more like – “This is what I am doing.”
2. Identify the biggest reasons you are likely to fail (your challenges)
Example: you want to get fit, but you tend to flop in front of the TV after work over going to the gym, and then while you’re watching TV, you like to eat. That’s a tough habit to break and you know that your challenges are to stop watching TV so much and cutting back on mindless munching. It may take a couple of meditation sessions or a kinesiology session to get in touch with why you are sabotaging your goals. Take the time, build the awareness, and then you’ve got something to work with.
3. Make decisions
For each challenge, ask: “What should I do about (the challenge)?” So using the above example, “What should I do about avoiding exercise in favour of eating popcorn (most likely something else that’s less healthy) in front of the TV?” Answers could be, “I will head straight to the gym after work or join a sports team to encourage me to go” or “I will cancel my Netflix subscription” or “I will go for a walk with my partner after dinner instead of slumping onto the sofa.”
4. Try Kinesiology to unlock the patterns that keep you going round in circles instead of moving forward
Find out why you keep running the same patterns in your brain and doing the same thing over and over and over again (yes we all do this and it drives us all nuts) and release them for good. And don’t just achieve your desires but surpass them.
5. Mobilize your team
Yes, you have a team: friends, family, colleagues and even random people who can help you implement your decision. Who is helping you choose TV-watching (and eating) over exercising? Who could help you follow through on the decision to go to the gym? Ask for help – seriously! Accountability buddies, workout buddies, mentors… they are all valuable team members! If you run a business, you wouldn’t consider doing everything yourself – the bookkeeping AND the sales, AND the marketing, AND product development, AND cleaning the office, AND customer service, AND manufacturing.… So don’t expect that you are an island in your personal life, either. Get your team together who will enable your success in good ways – those with positive habits, those who are encouraging and helpful, those who can help you with your responsibilities so you have fewer excuses, and those who won’t make it easy for you to slip back into your old ways.
With a strong decision, and a team to back you up, you increase your chances of success. And like at work – when you have made a decision, it’s a done deal. You just do what needs to be done, no moaning, just doing.
Why does this work? Because we are more likely to follow through on business goals than personal goals or resolutions. At work, no amount of moaning is going to change the fact that the boss wants results.
I really like this approach to a new year said by the Dalai Lama a few days ago in Patna, India.
“I would love to express a happy new year. I think a happy new year is not just party and some cake, some wine—not only that. I think a happy new year should include peace of mind and a happy mind.”
The Dalai Lama then went on to say, “In today’s world, there is an emotional crisis; too much anger, too much fear, too much stress. That is wrong. In order to reduce anger and stress, you take drugs and alcohol, this is not the answer. The answer is the training of the mind. Gain full knowledge about the emotions. Whether you are a believer or a non-believer, knowledge of the mind, of emotion, is needed.”
“A happy new year means a happy mind.”
At times, we tend to focus on celebrating the new year, rather than focus on what we wish to improve in the days ahead. It is likely that the ultimate resolution we can make this year is to work on our peace of mind.
We need to learn more about ourselves before learning about anything else. The fact is, the mind is the source of everything. It is the reason for our fear, anger, and stress. If we don’t know how to train our mind and deal with it, we will never know how to cope with emotional crisis or so called crisis that we unravelling daily.
Here are four simple ways to help us learn how to achieve a happy and peaceful mind:
Meditation is the ultimate method for you to do at home to train your mind. It allows us to gain a better insight and understanding of our own emotions and thoughts. Five minutes a day can be of great benefit.
Become fully aware of your emotions and what drives you. Take notes of your daily emotional activities. What made you angry? What made you sad? What made you happy? Write down the reasons and start working on eliminating what’s not helping. Then work on strengthening what’s of benefit for you.
3. It’s all in the mind
Know that your reality starts in your mind. All anger, stress, fear and worry stem from your thoughts. As you wake up every morning, think of one moment or thing that gives you joy, then think of another. get the joy momentum going. It will set you up for a positive day. Rather than dwelling on things that aren’t working you need to figure out how to make life work for you. Kinesiology is a simple and effective method to help you do this. It helps the out the grief of searching for the answers and clears brain fog.
4. Happy New Day
Don’t wait for the new year to work on having a happy mind. Make it your priority every day.
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