woman holding a smiley balloon
One of the most damaging things we can do - you will be surprised by what it is
woman holding a smiley balloon
One of the most damaging things we can do - you will be surprised by what it is

I’m going to drop a bombshell that some people probably won’t agree with, but hear me out and read to the end to get the whole picture.

I think one of the most damaging things we do is – positivity.

Someone treats you unfairly and people say, “don’t worry about it, stay positive, they will get it in the end.”

We are hurt by a situation and we are told to brush it off and stay positive.

I could continue with scenario after scenario like this but I think you get the picture.

I’m over being positive. I believe it has led to a build-up of anger that we have pushed down and when it comes out, it comes out like an explosion. Trying to resolve a situation with an angry person is pointless because they aren’t thinking clearly so it usually gets out of hand.

Does this remind anyone of a situation or anything??

What I believe is more constructive is keeping it real. When we keep it real, we don’t stay stuck in pain or hurt and playing it over and over again – that’s not keeping it real. I think that’s where the confusion comes in.

What it really means is that we sit in it and see it for what it really is and then with clarity and perspective we find the most beneficial course of action to do something about it and let it go so it no longer controls our choices.

It means that we can see the silver lining in what has happened. We can see the positive aspects of the situation, what lessons we have learned and how the situation will make us a better person. In doing this we take responsibility for our part we played in the situation and the part the other person or group played in it.

I find positivity to be spiritual bypassing. It’s just pretending things are OK when in fact they are not. It’s brushing things off instead of facing the truth and processing it within ourselves.

Let’s stop pretending to be OK. It is not OK that black people, gay people, disabled people, people who look or act outside of what we are deeming to be a perfect person, is treated anything other than equal. It’s simply not OK. And we shouldn’t ever brush it off by being positive or push it down deep within us by not processing the situation within ourselves.

None of that is OK so let’s stop pretending to be OK and trying to be positive when aren’t feeling that way at all. Let get some perspective or what’s also called seeing the silver lining and do something about it in a constructive way.

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Kemina is In Newmarket and Brookfield Ph: 0400 565 116
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