Power is a misused feeling. It’s often used to compensate for inadequacies and feed the ego rather than to ground and strengthen the soul and open it up to do great things. Living your life from a place of personal power can come across as an overused statement to entice people to adopt a “win at all costs” mentality. And when this is mixed with greed, things can go haywire.
When you hear the word “power,” do you think of control over other people, or money, or even forcefully influencing the course of events? This mentality is one that’s driven by ego or a fear of going with the flow. Instead, adopt a more positive definition of power – the ability to act in an effective way. For example, there is the power of speech or the basic power to say yes or no when you want to.
Power is really about standing in the truth of who you are as a human being. It is a way of life where you treat yourself and others with kindness, acceptance, and love. Standing in your power resembles a gentle strength that doesn’t need to be seen or heard to thrive.
What It Means To Live In Your Truth
When you live life from an empowered place, you are guided from within. This is what happens when you live in the truth:
- You stop looking to others to define who you are and who you’re not.
- You stop wasting your waking moments worrying about what others think of you.
- You value yourself from a genuine place, making it easier to see the good in others.
Here’s what it means to break down these three steps of living in the truth to daily actions. You honor whatever is really important to you. You know who you are, what you are capable of, and why you make the decisions you make. Nothing can rock your boat or shake the foundation of who you are. No one can hurt you unless you let them.
Imagine what you could accomplish if you could harness your power to do all the things you want and succeed.
When Are You Not Standing In Your Power?
Let’s face it – most of us get in our own way. We indulge in self-doubt and mind games, thinking, “I don’t deserve this” or that “I’m not good enough.” Do you feel powerless? Are you scared of what others will say about you? Do you feel overwhelmed by your circumstances, or inadequate to handle the complexities of your to-do list? Do you keep blocking your own success? Then, you’re not standing in your own power.
Ask yourself this: “What or who is ruling your life instead of you?”
Do you let your partner always choose what to eat or which movie to watch? Do you always bow down to your kids’ demands? And that of your boss? Do you take on whatever you’re asked to do, no matter how full your plate already is? Do you invalidate your own thoughts and feelings to please others?
Pleasing others is a habit. You probably developed it when you were young, when you learned that being cute, having good manners, or getting good grades made your parents happy and that made you feel good. Maybe you had to push away your own needs to fit into your family. You learned to keep your opinions, thoughts, and emotions to yourself.
You – the real you – was silenced. You followed the crowd instead of making waves. You learned to give away your power for the approval of others. You denied your own voice, the authentic you. But at what cost?
Try This Exercise To Regain Your Power
It is never too late to get your life back under your control. Write a list of things that make you feel powerful. Here are a few examples of what you can list.
I feel powerful:
- When I quietly and unashamedly hold my ground when someone says, “I haven’t seen a white person in this TV show yet.” Instead of reacting, I simply say, “Is that a problem?”
- When I recognize that someone is in need and do something about it
- When I keep a compact shopping bag in my handbag to avoid using plastic bags
- After taking a swim in the ocean to recharge
- After opening my eyes post meditating, when the world looks brighter
- When I accept that I created a difficult situation rather than putting the blame on someone else
- When I give my humble opinion or suggestion without trying to change others’ opinions or force my opinion on others
3 Practices To Bring You Back Under Your Power
Here are the 3 practices you can turn to for a reminder of why it is important to stand in your power and how to step back in if you veer off the path.
Deep acceptance comes from understanding how similar we are. We all hurt the same way and have the capacity to love the same way – we are human. Problems arise when we begin to feel separate and believe we are better, less than, or different from each other.
If someone treats you like you are less of a person or not worthy as you are, it is a trap they are stuck in. Give them some compassion for where they may be stuck and quickly move on. Remind yourself of your ability to experience the human qualities you most admire and enjoy. If you admire love, think about how to step into love right at that moment. If it is joy, think of how you can add more joy to the moment. If it is kindness, figure out a way to be kind to yourself and to others around you.
Acceptance is the golden path to empowerment. When you accept yourself, your mistakes, or any situation you are in, you give yourself the gift of strength. When you accept others no matter what their opinions or differences are, you get to have a gentle, peaceful experience with everyone.
The landscape of life is always moving and changing. Some days are easier than others to be in your power and accept what is before you. But on the challenging days, your inner voice invites you to step away from your truth and be hard to yourself or others instead. On such occasions, see what happens when you literally free yourself from the story you are narrating.
If that story is an elaborate tale of all the reasons why you or someone else should be seen in a negative light, stop narrating at once! Holding on to these harmful stories is when you depart from your gentle strength. The uneasiness that accompanies this departure is often felt on a physical level. This feeling is usually the first indicator of you being stuck in a story.
You experience freedom when you get into the driver’s seat of your life and take control of your stories from an empowered place.
You can choose to see the good traits in yourself and others because there are always good things to focus on. You get to choose whether to shine the light on those things. You can also steer away from focusing on the things that don’t feel good. You free yourself from the story you feel you are stuck in by creating new stories that feel right and lead you to empowered living.
It is up to each of us to take care of ourselves. We are the gatekeepers of our thoughts and feelings. We get to decide whether the steps we take help us stand in our power or prompt us to give it away.
Having a regular self-care practice is fundamental to finding the inner truth and standing in power. Adopt a self-care practice that fits your individual needs and is easy to stick with through the highs and lows in life. Here are a few key things any self-care practice should include:
- Self-reflection through writing and journaling
- Having a handful of trusted people to confide in
- Enjoying regular sleep, exercise, and fun
- Spending time with people close to you
- Limited screen time and saying no when you mean no
The trick about self-care is to add things that make sense to you and to add them one at a time. This isn’t a boot camp or an overhaul of your life…it is a practice of adopting joyful habits that will help you live your best life.
Apart from these, choose things that you can commit to doing on a regular basis so it becomes habitual. Your regular self-care practice shouldn’t just be something you use to feel good in life. It should be a tool you draw on to help you through different obstacles. This will help you to stay on your path, stay in your truth, and stand in your power.
Many of us are crap at dealing with emotions. It's not due to lack of trying or poor skills, but is actually interference blocking us from processing them.
When setting goals for the new year I find people often miss a couple of important steps and tricks. Try these 3 steps to create a new year that fulfills.